Tuesday, March 27, 2012

a big GRACIAS!!

It will be 10 years ago this December that it happened.  The first time I left this Country and traveled abroad, leaving my children to be cared for by my Mother-in-law Robin.  I only had 3 kids back then, Bradley who was 4, Kennadee who was 2 weeks away from turning 3 and Baby Zach who had just had his 1st birthday.  I was traveling to Sweden with my parents, my sister Kari and my brother Galen, to support my other sister Erin as she was going through the Temple for the first time in the Stockholm, Sweden temple.  I was a little paranoid about leaving my kids mostly because I was leaving the country.  I survived (although I think my brother Galen has a different take), my kids survived, and when I finally got to see my kids after being gone for so long it was a very sweet moment, especially since Zach just kept looking at me like I had been raised from the dead.  He would hug me then push back and look at my face, making sure it was still me and then hug me again and repeat the process over and over again.

Last summer Scott and I took our first out of country trip to Mexico and again left our children in the care of Robin, I had no qualms about going on our vacation and leaving them and worried only about coming home to my spoiled children, which if you know Robin you know why I say that!!  Scott and I were having so much fun on our vacation that I really didn't have a lot of time to miss my kids, we didn't have cell reception, we didn't text and told Robin to only contact us only if there was an emergency.  The friends we went with had internet in their room and so one night (close to the end of our vacation) I checked Facebook to see if Robin had posted anything and to my delight she did, she had some pictures of the kids on the camping trip they took with their Grandma and Pappy (Robin & Everett) to the family reunion.  I was fine looking at the pictures until I saw this one:


I don't know why it struck me the way it did, but I literally fell to pieces, I kind of felt like Zachary back when I got home from Sweden, I would look at Kennadee and then have to look at her again and again just to make sure it was really her.  She looked so grown up and I felt a deep pang of regret and loss, she had grown up in the week I was gone and I had missed it.  I cried and cried and tried to take deep breaths to cover up the fact that all I wanted to do at that point was jump on a plane and go get my kids and not miss another second of being with them, even though most of the time I am with them I dream of going on vacation, touche!

So this last Feb. when Scott and I again had the opportunity to go back to Mexico, we chose to do things a little different, we decided that we would pay for the internet in the hotel room and keep in better contact with the kids so hopefully I didn't feel so distant from them.  It is funny how your mind works sometimes.  I was so apprehensive about leaving this time, I think it was because of how much that one little picture affected me, I don't like the feeling of missing out on so much with my kids.  But all my worrying went out the window when I knew that I could connect with my kids daily.  Robin was so good about sending me e-mails and keeping me updated on everything the kids were doing and saying.  Our internet connection sucked and I couldn't check it as often as I wanted but nonetheless I had the connection I needed and craved being so far away from them.  I have been very blessed to have such a wonderful mother-in-law who loves the "challenge" my four kids provide for her!!  She is ever so willing to drive them all over, she made sure they got to dance, karate, scouts, ym, yw, and even attended the Blue and Gold Banquet in my place and when I forgot about a PTA project I was suppose to have done before I left the country, she just took charge made an assembly line out of my kids and all the friends that were over and cranked out 100 read-a-thon packets, Way to go Grandma!!!  I am so appreciative of all that Robin does to ensure that my kids are taken care of in my absence, she goes above and beyond (sometimes way beyond) what my kids need and I love that about her.  I love hearing all the grand stories when I get home, although I do not appreciate being called Grandma for 3 days after being home, but I guess it is the price I pay to have a little peace while on vacation.  Robin - thank you, thank you, thank you for all you do for me and the kids, it is really appreciated and also thank you Everett for letting Robin come out and take care of these hoodlems leaving you to fend for yourself.  I consider myself very lucky to have such wonderful in-laws and don't worry I am sure there will be more vacations for me to go on after all I think I am getting better at being able to leave my kids with out freaking out ;)

okay, maybe not, but practice makes perfect right!!!

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