When contemplating what I wanted to do for the annual Christmas blog entry, I thought just doing the normal update of my family would be sufficient, but needless to say I have had the hardest time writing it, call it writers block or whatever, but I have started this entry about 12 times (maybe more). So here I go again and hopefully this will be the winner..............
I have been thinking a lot about being a Christlike example and when I think about it, the one thing that comes to mind is very personal, yet something that I have wanted to write down and save for my kids to read later. So this entry is going to focus on the very meaning of being Christlike and the wonderful person I chose to marry.
Scott had to do something this year that I hope to not repeat for a very, very, very long time. He had to say good-bye to his father. I hope Scott won't mind me talking about this on here for all to read, especially since I will not let him proof-read my posts and he usually doesn't get a say in what I post, so forgive me honey if this is to personal. Scott and his Dad were not really in a good place at the time we learned of his sickness, and sadly it was not for lack of trying. Scott's Dad was an alcoholic, and it was hard for me to watch Scott try and try and try again to help his Dad only to be refused or let down because of a relapse. It finally came to the point where the only relationship Scott had with his Dad was the check he (and his brothers) sent every month to pay for his apartment room and other neccessities that kept Tom from being homeless. I don't want to go into much more detail but their relationship was basically non-existent for about a year before his passing but in saying this I know it brought great comfort to Scott knowing that Tom lived really close to his brothers and his brothers would check up on him and invite him over for Sunday Football. It was late Mon. evening in early March 2011 when Scott got the call from his brother saying that he was taking their Dad to the ER, because something was wrong. I called the hospital the next day to find out how Tom was doing and from what they could tell me I knew it wasn't good. I asked Scott to tell me what exactly the Dr. had said to his brother when they took him in and that is when I found out he had Scirosis of the Liver and the level at which he was at was extremely critical, Scott had chosen not to go to the hospital and I was very concerned that it would be to late when he finally went, so I did some research online (I know, I know but it was the only thing I could do at the time), and it made me even more nervous that waiting was the wrong thing to do, Scott just wanted to wait and see. I have always felt like I had to walk on pins and needles concerning matters with his Dad and it was hard for me to see time slipping away, I felt the pressure but I think Scott was a little in denial about how critical his Dad really was. Thurs. that same week I went into work and to my relief Scott asked if I would go to the hospital with him to visit his Dad, we went to the IHC hospital on Redwood and 56th So. and the only thing I can say is that when we first saw Tom it was shocking, here was a man who was only 55 yet looked 85, his scirosis was so bad that he had a very hard time communicating and really had to think about anything you asked him. But the more miraculous thing that happened was Scott, I saw a man who had been so hurt by his Dad's alcoholism, look into the eyes of this man and it was as if nothing else mattered but making him better. Scott went into a "doing" mode, if there was something that needed to be done for his dad, whether it be paperwork, legal stuff, making sure he had his glasses, comforting him, watching tv with him or just reminiscing about hunting and fishing, Scott was right there. I think the most precious moment for me came as we were leaving and Scott looked at his Dad and said "I Love you Dad!" I knew it took a lot for him to say it, especially not knowing if his Dad understood him and not knowing if it would even matter to his Dad. Scott called his Grandma and Uncle Mike who live in Mesquite, NV and told them that they should come up and visit and so they came and spent the weekend up in SL, to our surprise Tom seemed to be doing so much better and the time that Grandma and Mike got to spend with him was really wonderful. Tom was doing so good in fact that the hospital was ready to talk about releasing him but only to a facility that provided nursing care 24 hrs. a day, because even at his very best he would never be able to live without constant nursing care. Scott and his brothers searched until they found a sutible place for their father to go after they released him from the hospital. He was released midday Mar. 22, Scott was not able to visit that day or on the 23rd but thrus. the 24th we went together to see his Dad, as we went into the room the nurse was with him and she began talking to us about some concerns she was having and it seemed that Tom was not doing so well, in fact it seemed like he had gone backwards, as we were visiting him, he asked if Scott would put him back in his bed because he was cold, Scott is really not a nurturer but as I watched him put his Dad in bed careful to make sure that he was comfortable, and covering him up with the blanket and then making sure that everything he needed was in arms legth, I got goosebumps! The sweetest thing and the thing that to this day brings tears to my eyes is when Tom asked for some water and Scott poured him a glass and seeing how weak and shakey Tom was, Scott didn't think twice nor ask me to step in as he helped his Dad take a sip of water, I wish that that exact moment could have been recorded so my kids could see and know how incredible their father is, they are far to young to grasp the whole reality of what took place in those precious few weeks. That was the last time we would visit Tom there, we no sooner had arrived back at work then we got a call saying Tom had gone from bad to worse and they were sending his to St. Marks Hospital and that we needed to get there as quick as we could. Long story short we told Scott's brothers to meet us there and with the sons who meant the world to him surrounding him, Tom departed this life. I cannot even begin to describe what it is like when you are with someone who is dying, there is almost a paulpible reverence. I knew then just like I know now, Scott was a Christlike example, he saw the poor and he gave, he saw the sick and he tried to heal, he saw the weary and he carried, he saw the broken hearted and he loved, he held the hand of his father as he passed promising to take care of those who still lived, he let go of hurt and anger and replaced it with kindness and compassion, there has never been a time I have felt so priviledged to be a part of something as I was in watching my husband grow as a person. I hope in this Christmas Season you all have a little time to reflect on the Christlike examples that filled your life this year, and be grateful for the experiences to learn and grow closer to our Savior. We love you all and are so grateful for each and everyone of you and the example you are to us. Merry Christmas and May your New Year be filled with the love of our Savior Jesus Christ.
With Love,
Scott and Melanie
Bradley, Kennadee, Zachary and Lainee
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