Chapter 82: twelve

When my Mom turned 40 a friend of hers gave her a hand towel which had a cute saying on it about how she could use that towel to wipe off all her tears of sorrow for becoming "OLD", well Mom, I think I need that towel please, not because I am getting old, but because my kids keep getting older. I do NOT like birthdays, mine or my kids, because I really don't see it as a celebration, I see it as another year gone, another year closer to the time when they will leave the house, and this Birthday is no exception.

Bradley is 12 today, and this birthday not only marks the fact that both he and I have survived his childhood, but today marks the day where life as we know it will never be the same again. Bradley is now a Young Man, and I don't mean that just because he will now go to Young Mens, but I mean he will now start the phase in his life when he is preparing himself to leave our home. I see it as a tall playground slide, we have guided him up the slide, step by step and have been right behind him, and now it is his turn to navigate his way down with us cheering him on, until he reaches the bottom and slides out our doors into the world all on his own. I may sound a little sentimental or maybe I am just rambling for my own benefit, but I feel very sad and no where near prepared for him to be this grown up, to hold the priesthood and to be passing the sacrament.

Bradley somedays you drive me insane, but I wouldn't trade these last 12 years for anything, I love your smile, I love your laugh and I love your tender heart, Happy Birthday buddy!!!! (p.s. if you need me today, *sniff* I will be in my room *sniff, sniff* with your baby book. *sniff*)